A Fresh Perspective
by littlerose23
Summary: Stefan has lost his memory and he can't help but feel that Damon (his brother) isn't giving him the full story. He thinks Elena (his brother's girlfriend) might have an agenda. And so far the friendly blond is the only one he feels he can trust, he's drawn to her. The events of episode 5x04 "For Whom the Bell Tolls" told from Stefan's point of view. A Steroline story.
1. Chapter 1

**_First and foremost I am a Klaroline shipper but since the writers stole Klaus away and put him in 'The Originals' I've had a void to fill. Since Tyler is _****so****_ not good enough for Caroline; and Elena is _****so****_ not good enough for Stefan; and I've always loved the Steroline friendship, I thought I'd give Steroline a go. So this is my, Steroline heavy, version of 5x04 "For Whom the Bell Tolls". It's definitely going to be more than one chapter but I'm not sure how far I can make it go so please bear with me and ideas and constructive criticism are most welcome._**

Another shot of whiskey burned a delicious path down his throat as he drank along with everyone else to the ringing of the bell. It seemed a bit strange, the ringing and drinking thing. But then a lot seemed strange right now. Hell, for all he knew he did this every week. So he wasn't questioning or judging, he was just going with it, and actually he was sort of enjoying himself. But as he continued to study the man sitting across the table from him Stefan realised that this wasn't a regular occurrence, not for them.

Damon. His brother. Brothers drink together. Brothers have a good time together. Stefan seemed to know that to be true instinctively, just like he knew what year it was, what state he was in and who was president. Facts he still had, but relationships, memories, those were all gone. So what he didn't know - didn't remember - was what his and Damon's relationship was like. However the subtle awkwardness in Damon's posture; the slight stiffness in his shoulders; the subconscious defensiveness of his body language, told him that things between them weren't always as friendly as Damon was trying to make out. But Stefan didn't really mind that Damon was acting just a little too relaxed for it to be natural, (after all how comfortable would you really be in the event of your vampire sibling losing all memory of his life)? Stefan appreciated the effort all the same. Especially since Damon knew everything that he didn't: all the petty fights, grudges and squabbles that occurred in a hundred and odd years worth of sibling rivalry. Maybe ignorance really is bliss. Maybe this was the perfect opportunity for a clean slate, a chance to start a fresh.

"Stefan!" his eyes automatically jumped to the source of the squeal and his glass froze half way to his mouth. She was blond and beaming and beautiful, and she was heading straight for him. Her smile was so radiant with warmth and so welcoming that it stole his breath away. She stopped in front of him and just stood staring down at him, her smile making her blue eyes sparkle as her eyes drank him in. Stefan opened his mouth...once, twice. He was stumped. He wished he had something to say, but he didn't. Luckily she jumped to his rescue with a dismissive wave of her hand and a bubble of laughter that tugged up the corners of his mouth.

"Don't worry I know you don't know who I am, that's ok." There was no pity in her eyes only happiness. "As soon as I heard you were back I just had to see you with my own two eyes. I've been worried." Concern darkened the blue of her eyes as she studied his face.

"He's doesn't care Barbie." Damon's snide remark was like a hard slap, rudely reminding him that they weren't alone. He watched as all the light and kindness in her eyes instantly shut down when she shifted her attention to Damon with a cold glare.

"He has no memories Damon, not no _feelings_. Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean the rest of us don't appreciate a little compassion." When she turned back to Stefan her anger had already melted away into a friendly smile. "It's good to have you back Stefan. I'm glad you're ok."

"Thanks," he couldn't help but return her smile, it was infectious. "I'm fine. I just wish I had memories." He added.

"Yeah that kinda sucks," her smile slipped to a sympathetic grimace "But don't worry we'll help you through this."

Yet again Damon's obnoxious voice cut through them "Well right now _I'm_ helping him and _you_ are interrupting." He pointed an accusatory finger at Caroline accompanied by his typical, sarcastically cold smile.

"Don't talk to her like that." His angry growl seemed to startle both Damon and Caroline but he didn't care. Stefan was furious. Damon had been rude; but more than that, it had been an indirect way of telling her to leave and Stefan wasn't about to let him do that. He didn't want her to leave. He didn't know who she was, or what she was to him but she was the first person to show him genuine concern and warmth, more so than his own brother.

He was acting on impulse, an instinct to defend her from his brother (later he would have to question the implications of that but right now it felt right so he went with it). Damon's eyes widened with surprise then narrowed in anger, darting between Caroline and Stefan.

"It's ok Stefan." Caroline said, eyes alert and flicking nervously to Damon. She was eager to diffuse the sudden tension, but patted a hand to his arm in a silent thank you. He instantly missed the contact as soon as she dropped her hand away.

"Stay? Have a drink?" He asked her hopefully, not sure if their relationship allowed him to do anymore than make it a pleasant request when really he wanted to insist.

Caroline hesitated, glancing uneasily at Damon. "I'm sure you two have loads you need to catch up on. I wouldn't want to get in the way."

At that he knew he wanted her to stay. It was thoughtful. It was an acknowledgement that they were brothers, that this was delicate and difficult and required some space and time. It was a recognition of boundaries. It was considerate of what would be in his best interests right now. It was what Elena had failed to do all day.

There and then Stefan decided how happy and grateful he was to have her in his life. But just as quickly as the thought occurred to him a niggling doubt pushed in. Maybe he was over thinking her excuse. Maybe it was just that - an excuse - and she just wasn't interested enough to stay. Maybe she wasn't a significant part of his life. He was surprised to realise that that thought hurt to even consider so he pushed it aside and ordered himself not to second guess things. She said herself she had been worried about him, hadn't she? For the first time all day Stefan felt the burden of losing his memories.

"See you at the party tonight?" she asked him slipping seamlessly back into her bright-bubbliness. Was that eagerness he heard in her voice? Stefan nodded his response with a smile, a genuine one. He didn't know what party she was talking about but it didn't matter, he was going.

He watched her walk away and his frustration grew as the comfort of her company disappeared. Stefan felt a sudden hunger for information, details, knowledge of his life, a hunger that Damon and Elena had been trying to ignite all day to no avail and this friendly little blond had done it with a smile and a few kind words.

"Wait!" he jumped to his feet, ignoring Damon's calculating frown as he rushed to catch her before she reached the door. Then he hesitated. Frustration stabbed at him again. "I'm sorry but I don't know your name." He grimaced, feeling a mixture of regret and embarrassment, but her smile only brightened as she held out her hand to him.

"Caroline Forbes. Vampire. Libra. Neurotic Control Freak. And your best friend."

"What the hell was that?" Damon hissed when Stefan retook his seat, satisfied that the edge had been taken off his craving for information. For now.

"You tell me." Stefan shot back. His anger instantly returning at Damon's rude reaction to Caroline. Caroline. That was her name and she was his best friend.

**_What did you think...? Ideas...? Constructive criticisms...?_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_THANK YOU to everyone who has read and followed and favourited and reviewed. _**

**_Extra love goes to those who review because a writer can't ever get anywhere without readers to guide them. _**

**_And a special shout out to Jo MH3 who's PM gave my teeny-tiny ego a lovely little boost._**

**_This is perhaps more of a filler chapter. There's not a whole lot of action but I felt it was important for establishing how my Stefan is thinking. It is still sticking more-or-less to the 5x04 storyline but as I said I felt it was necessary to help you understand my version of events once I start to deviate from the show._**

Elena appeared at their table not long after Caroline had left. She looked expectant when she greeted him and Stefan didn't understand why. All day she had looked at him expectantly, questioningly. But there was something else too; like she was assessing him or awaiting his judgment. It was like she wanted his opinion on something; only he couldn't remember the question. And that pissed her off because he should be paying attention to her, but why? His head hurt. It was all very confusing and if he was honest a bit scary, like they were waiting for him to know something and once he did, once the penny dropped, the dynamics would change.

The three of them went back to the boarding house, a strange, tense atmosphere hanging over them. Stefan wasn't entirely sure why but from what he gathered Elena was angry at Damon for not telling Stefan all about her. '_How self involved_' he couldn't help but think, as he tried his best to ignore the duo. After all, today was meant to be about getting his memories back; learning about his own life, not hearing about his brother's girlfriend.

Finally alone Stefan stood savouring the peace and quiet, revelling in the sudden relaxation that came from no longer being watched incessantly. The happy couple had needed to speak privately about something, about what he didn't care, and he was more than happy for the opportunity to leave them to it. Free from Elena's smothering prodding's of _'what about this, do you remember this?'_ and Damon's passive aggressive jabs including the condescending over use of _'little brother'_ to address him. Ok yes, they had been trying to help him, but it was all a lot to take in. Stefan was pretty sure he still needed time to process the fact that he had no memories, never mind all the facts and information they had been incessantly firing at him. But all confusing thoughts and observations were pushed easily from his mind by the image of the captivating blond playing over and over again in his mind.

So here he stood alone in his room, feeling a soft buzz from the alcohol, a pleasant lightness from his encounter with Caroline and a hint of mild curiosity as he surveyed his personal space, but still no _'eureka!'_ spark of recognition. He flicked absently through a diary at the top of a pile of diaries, on a shelf of diaries, in a bookcase full of diaries. It was daunting. His life, his thoughts and feelings and opinions all recorded and stored right in front of him. But he wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to read them. Maybe there would be things he didn't want to remember, things he had previously wished to forget. After all, wouldn't it be bad things you'd write down, things to get off your chest, get out of your system. If you were blissfully happy you wouldn't really take the time to sit down and write about it. Keeping a diary was more of a therapeutic tool; like an emotional detox; a sulky, sullen, broody type of pastime. He let his fingers drift across the older leather spines crammed into the top shelf. _Wow_, that's a lot of brooding. Stefan pulled his hand away and turned his back.

He turned his attention instead to the few picture frames dotted about the room, searching for hints of personality and clues to relationships all forgotten. His eyes scanned quickly around to locate them all, doing a quick count of the framed snap-shots to his life, and then he saw it. A picture of him and Caroline. This was good. This meant she was an important part of his life. Stefan reflexively smiled in answer to the sparkling grin on the alluring blond staring up at him. He could almost see the joy and excitement flowing out of her and infecting his past self, with her arm hooked tightly around his neck and her temple resting against his as her other arm reached out holding the camera. There closeness was comfortable, Stefan noted. His thoughts jumped to tonight, to this party, to seeing Caroline again and he recognised the feeling tingling through his muscles as excitement. He savoured the feeling, eager and delighted. Stefan caught himself thinking that maybe he _should _read the diaries after all, or at least skim through them for entries about Caroline.

Then another picture caught his eye and unwillingly pulled his attention. His smile slipped into a frown. It was a picture of him and Elena. That wasn't right. It was too intimate. Their closeness, their touch, too familiar. Stefan thought about the unexplained tension that had cropped up every now and again, her strange anger with Damon, the impression she gave him that she was put out by his memory lose as though insulted or hurt by it. Stefan looked again at the picture before turning it face down on the table.

An icy hand squeezed around his stomach as a terrifying thought struck him. What if he was involved in some horrible love triangle of unrequited love for his brother's girlfriend? Oh God, please say he didn't have feelings for his brother's girlfriend.

Then an idea came to him. Damon had been explaining some of the insider knowledge on vampirism to him, the perks of the lifestyle, one of which was super sensitive hearing. Maybe if he could listen in on them he would get more information than the little titbits they were spoon feeding him. Maybe if he could listen in to them arguing about why Elena was annoyed, or why Damon hadn't told him whatever it was she wanted him to know, he might get a better sense of who they were and what their relationships with him might be like. Stefan closed his eyes and concentrated hard, listening intently for any noise coming from downstairs. He pushed out with his mind, with his senses and felt his awareness widen.

"...you heard from her?" Elena's voice echoed up to him just as loudly as if she were standing next to him, there was a desperate, needy tone to her voice.

"No. No-one has. We don't even know where she is." Damon answered her sounding frustrated.

"But we _need_ her help Damon. She always fixes things, it's what she _does_." Elena moaned.

None of it meant anything to Stefan and he couldn't bear to listen any longer. How on earth could he have developed a crush on someone as self-centred as that? '_Poor Damon'_, he thought with a cringe, thank God she was his problem. Stefan tuned them out again, turning instead to look through the book and music collections. He wondered if he would still like the same things now that his memories were gone, taking away the familiarity and fond associations that so often bond us to our favourite things. A knock at his door interrupted him as he was about to press play on what seemed to be a well worn '_Bon Jovi'_ record. Stefan turned to see Elena leaning casually against the door frame and felt a stab of annoyance.

"So I was thinking maybe I could show you around? Maybe take you to some familiar places and see if it triggers anything?" Stefan hesitated, not really wanting to go with her but not sure what choice he had.

"Where's Damon?" he asked her without answering in an attempt to stall her. Her smile vanished.

"He had something to take care of." she looked confused, again looking upset that he would rather spend time with his brother, _what was her problem_? Seeing no other way out Stefan reluctantly agreed, cringing internally as she instantly turned up the volume of her smile. It had nothing on Caroline's smile, he thought as he followed her out, choosing not to listen as soon as she started to talk. Caroline's smile was so warm; it projected her affectionate and friendly personality to anyone who received it. Elena's smile, however, was laced with charm and confidence. While Caroline smiled with a big heart and kind nature Elena smiled with power, like a girl used to getting what she wanted and it made Stefan suspicious of her intentions.

Betrayal.

Anger.

Heart break.

He felt them all like hot burns searing his flesh. But it was a strange sort of pain. A disconnected sort of pain. Like an awful idea or a disturbing thought that causes you to shudder and wince just considering it, instead of a real wound open and festering with a continued throbbing pain announcing its existence with every beat of your heart.

He had no memory of the events themselves. He couldn't remember loving Elena, he couldn't remember losing her to his brother, he couldn't remember the pain of seeing them together. But he could imagine it. Imagine the agony and the torment. He understood the betrayal. To him, right now, with no memory, it wasn't real. Not really. But it was the principle of it. The knowledge that the two people who were suppose to love him most had willingly broken his trust, broken his heart. How could they do that to him? How could they treat him like that? What about respect and loyalty and faithfulness and love?

He ran aimlessly through the woods, a small part of his brain registering that this was what vampire speed felt like as the world dissolved into a blur, and a rush-so strong and powerful-hummed through his body like an electric current, urging him to go further and faster until he thought he might dissolve into the blurs himself. But the thrill and euphoria was dwarfed by the chilling thoughts running their own dizzying loops through his head. Only one thought stood out clearly in the confused tangle - get away from Elena. Get away from what she represents. As though if he could run away far enough he could run away from the knowledge of what she had done to him.

He realised then exactly what Damon had meant when he spoke earlier about 'the monster taking over'. Damon had warned him about keeping the animal at bay and holding his urges in check. But now he didn't care, he couldn't have even if he wanted to. Anger burned through any barriers of self restraint that where unconsciously in place, eating away his conscience and throwing him into instinct. Beneath the sizzling thrill of his speed, under the euphoric release of letting the monster out, Stefan became aware of a new pain. Different to the emotional pain of betrayal and heartache. A more primal pain. A pounding ache. A torturous need. A hypnotic desire.

A _Thirst!_

As quickly as the feeling hit him, the answer was just as clear.

Blood.

A surge of power overwhelmed his brain then, erasing all rational thought and replacing it with the mind of a predator hunting for his prey.

**_I'm sorry I know there was a distinct lack of Steroline but this was just to set the scene for the next chapter which will be full of Steroline moments. As always comments are welcome. Tell me what you like and what you don't like, or if you spot an annoying mistake, it's the only way I can get any better at this so please help me._**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Sorry for the delay folks I had a slight case of writers block, but fear not, I now have a rough plan outlining where I want to go with the next few chapters. Now I just need to keep finding the time to write. We are still following the general plot line of the show just now (other than the obvious embellishment of the Steroline moments), I'll give you all a heads up when we veer off from the show storyline, which I will do eventually..._**

Tantalizing scents of blood and booze tickled his nose as he prowled through the party. _A party in the woods, what were these people thinking?_ His mind still felt fuzzy and disconnected as though he was fighting to rouse himself from a dream.

Each body he passed was singing out to his thirst with enticing mixes of, sweet endorphins and sensual pheromones. It was like a heady cocktail selection laid out before him, making it hard for him to concentrate. But it wasn't what he was there for so Stefan fought to ignore it and kept searching.

He had already quenched his thirst, already satisfied the urge to hunt, the burning need was temporarily sated and although his thoughts were still driven by desire it was more dulled than the insatiable wave that had consumed him earlier, now he had a desire of a different kind. Not for hot red and sticky, but warm blond and bubbly.

He spotted her, just past the camp fire over to his left, sitting at the base of a tree, a large textbook propped open on her lap. The firelight made her hair shimmer with shades of yellow and honey and gold.

Stefan inhaled deeply, and then exhaled slowly. All the tension ebbed from his body as he relaxed at the sight of her. A sudden calm enveloped him, his mind cleared of all impulses and primal urges. Life around him sharpened into reality as his mind clicked back into focus.

"There she is." He called out, loud enough for her to hear and her eyes instantly snapped to him across the clearing. "Caroline Forbes." He continued with a grin which she returned instantly, much to his delight. "Libra. Control freak." He ticked them off on his fingers as he closed the gap between them, raising his hand to shield his face as he mouthed "_Vampire_. And my best friend." He announced the last one proudly. She pushed herself to her feet and stepped towards him, the grin on her face rolling seamlessly into a giggle once he finished. Stefan noticed that although her eyes showed that she was a little unsure of this behaviour from him she was clearly pleased. Pleased with his playfulness or just by his presence he wondered? He wasn't sure, but he didn't care as long as she continued to be pleased by him.

"You came. And you _remembered_." She said as she pulled him into a hug. Her arm hooked over his shoulder with familiar ease and he revelled in her embrace, in the comfort of her touch.

"Of course. Meeting you has been the highlight of my day." Stefan said as he reluctantly released her waist again, "So far." He added with a suggestive grin. That seemed to throw her off, she looked up at him wide eyed and stunned.

"It-it was?" she said softly.

"Are you kidding? I've been stuck with grumpy and boring all day, you were like my _saviour_." Her laugh was loud and sweet and he found himself yearning to hear it again.

"I've been studying pictures and things from 'my life' most of the day." He told her.

"You have? Anything good?" the interest in her voice was so genuine it made every conversation he had had with Damon and Elena sound false and forced by comparison. "I bet you wore bell bottoms in the 70s." she teased. "I need to see these pictures."

"Actually I was looking for ones of _you_, not me." He laughed.

"Of me?"

"Yeah. Well you said you're my best friend." he shrugged, "I needed to know more about you."

"And?" Caroline questioned, her smile was wide and her eyes had such an honesty and openness that he knew she wasn't at all worried about what he could have found, because she had no secrets from him, and that knowledge lifted him higher than the thrill of the taste of blood.

"You're much hotter in person." He said with a smirk, letting his eyes briefly slid down her frame.

Caroline's eyes went wide and her mouth pinched into a sweet little embarrassed smile. It was so damn cute he had to stop himself from acting on impulse and kissing her. It was the first time he'd fought an impulse in hours, the first time he'd even thought to fight it but he did because for the first time in hours he thought about the consequences and he didn't want to risk scaring her off. His need for her company was much greater than his desire to kiss her, at least for now.

But her reaction told him a lot: his flirtation had thrown her off again. Caroline seemed slightly embarrassed by it. However, Stefan thought she shied away from the _attention_ rather than from _him_, like she was unsure or insecure. How could he have allowed her to be so uncertain of herself? His old self had obviously never been like that with her before and he wondered why the hell not. He grew suddenly angry with his past self and with the anger he felt the monster stir deep within him.

"God how do I not remember you?" He muttered in frustration, more to himself than to her "I mean you're smart, you're pretty, you're funny…" Stefan was too caught up in his irritation to notice the look of shock that flitted across Caroline's face at his words.

Stefan's anger boiled steadily into a fiery rage; rage at his insomnia, rage at his past self, rage at Damon and Elena. The savage beast that had been slumbering deep in his chest since he came to find her was suddenly roused again, this time by his anger towards _himself_. The change in him didn't go unnoticed by Caroline. She saw a hard blackness seep into his eyes, it was a cold and frightening look that she had never seen before. _Was this what the Ripper looked like?_

"Are you ok?" the soft sweetness of her worried voice broke through his thoughts like a blast of cold water, extinguishing the rage and returning it to a smouldering frustration. He sighed.

"Well if by ok you mean: spiralling into ripper oblivion. Then yes, I'm dandy." He snapped.

Stefan regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. He winced, realising an instant too late that this was the kind of attitude that had Elena squirming uncomfortably and recoiling from him all day. While that hadn't bothered him, the last thing he wanted to do was chase off the _one_ person he felt a connection to. "I'm a little drunk." He said softly, his head bowing apologetically.

"Yeah. Yeah I can see that." Her words rang with suppressed laughter. Stefan's eyes snapped back up to hers to see if that hint of humour he heard in her voice was actually there. When she smiled at him relief flowed through him and he returned her smile without hesitation. The smile dropped from Caroline's face as she considered him seriously for a moment.

"Look I know I asked you to come but you don't have to be here. I mean it's been a rough day for you if it's too much…"

"No. No, I want to be here." He quickly assured her.

"Ok." She nodded, satisfied with his answer. "So what do you say you and I go and drink, talk, catch up...?"

"Absolutely." He nodded

"I can help you with the cravings too, if you want; it must be difficult right now with the no-memory thing. Just let me say good bye to Jessie."

She turned away, heading back towards her little camp and missing the steely black coldness returning to his eyes. The anger bubbled to the surface of his thoughts again as he watched her speak to some man who grinned at her foolishly. _Who the hell was this guy; her date, her boyfriend?_ Stefan could hear the rush of his own blood as it pounded through his ears, each beat screaming _'Mine. Mine. Mine._'

Stefan was oblivious to the low growl that rumbled in his chest when the man brushed his fingers over the bare skin of Caroline's arm. Every muscle in his body tensed and flexed as the anger and adrenaline shot through his veins. Rational thought was pushed aside by a white-hot possessive anger and his mind slid instead into primal instinct. He assumed the steady, single-mindedness of a predator as he watched his prey, waiting. Finally, Caroline stepped away from the man, turning her back and moving to collect her things, and in that instant the Ripper struck.

_**To my lovely readers, **_

_**Happy Valentine's Day **_

_**Xx**_


	4. Chapter 4

**_Thank you so much to everyone who is reading this. An even BIGGER thanks to those who are favouriting, following and reviewing._**

He drank a slow long draw, taking his time, savouring the warm liquid, relishing in its euphoria. It was perfection, the heat of it; the smooth silky texture of it; the scent of it. But just as he inhaled deeply – hungry to consume everything it had to offer – something intruded his moment of pleasure, tugging insistently at his thoughts. It was the scent. It wasn't quite right.

Yes there was the expected mouth watering, metallic smell of blood, shrouded in hints of fear and adrenaline. But there was something else in the air that he recognised but couldn't quite place. It wasn't in the stagnant air of the ancient crypt, wasn't part of the naturally accumulated atmosphere of rot, dry leaves, stale air, and damp stone. It was coming from his victim he was sure, or rather _off_ of his victim. He drew back, disengaging his fangs after only a few mouthfuls, too distracted to enjoy anymore. The smell was disarming in its allure. He didn't think anything would have been able to take him away from the blood, to pull him down from the high of a feed.

The haze began to clear. His heart and his breathing both slowed with each minute that passed. The sharp edges of reality began creeping in around the remains of the thirst and rage. The ability to think forced its way through the monster and back into the centre of his consciousness.

That was when horror struck. Blood. There was blood. He could smell it in the air, feel it on his skin, _taste_ it on his tongue. _Oh God._ What had he done? There was a timid groan and Stefan realised he wasn't alone. No, of course not – there was the blood after all – but at least whoever his poor victim was, was alive. His fingers released their iron tight grip and the body crumbled to the ground with another groan.

Stefan felt sick. This man's face, he had seen it before, he recognised it from somewhere. And then there was that smell that had tantalised him out of a feed, and right out of that emotionless haze he kept slipping into.

The guilt solidified in his chest into a ball of steal and sunk painfully to his stomach, spreading a chill through his body. Panic trickled over his skin. He was a monster. Why did he do this? How did he even get here? It wasn't all that clear. Foggy images swam in and out of focus as his mind swung from one thought to the next. On the one hand there was the blood still faintly calling to him, the warm and breathing body at his feet, ready and waiting for him. Then, on the other hand, there was a fierce weight of emotions: guilt, panic, fear. And there was that smell, what could it possibly...

A gasp from the entrance to the crypt interrupted his brooding, pulling his attention. Stefan tensed. A shadow, a shape silhouetted by the moonlight, and then a shift in the air and Stefan's senses were flooded with the very scent he had been distracted by.

"Stefan?" His guilt intensified in a painful thud of his heart as Caroline stepped into the crypt eyes wide as they fell on his motionless victim.

Stefan's head spun with a confusing mix of feelings: guilt for his ruthless unforgivable attack; fear of disappointing Caroline and being on his own; despair at his own monstrosity and weakness; and yet still that ever present urge for _more_.

A Ripper. That was the name for it. He was a ripper. That's what they said, Damon and Elena. Something to do with...humanity...and emotions, not being able to feel them...? _No wonder_, Stefan thought. Emotions slammed into him like waves on a rock, beating him relentlessly.

When Damon and Elena had found him feeding earlier, succumbing to his cravings instead of dealing with the bomb Elena dropped on him, he was met with several looks– fear, disgust, disappointment, anger. He had furiously fired accusations at them, like they were excuses for his actions, but still they judged him. Like _his_ behaviour was worse than _theirs_, he could see it in their eyes. So he had run again.

So as he turned to face Caroline after having just taken a chunk out of her date's neck Stefan braced himself for an attack, physical or verbal. But neither came. Not a single yell or scream. Not even a dark and angry look. As he tried to pick out her emotions all he could find was concern, sympathy and understanding. She stepped towards him, ignoring the way he visibly tensed and pressed a bottle of tequila into his hands saying something about taking the edge off, and then she set about examining the unconscious human.

"This isn't you." She said it so matter-of-factly, as she turned to face him again, like there wasn't a human lying at their feet. A human she _knew_. He couldn't face her, not now. But even as he averted his gaze, backing away from her slightly, she continued in a soft and reassuring voice. "You might not remember that but _I_ do. You're better than this. You are not this person." Stefan cringed, the pain of the guilt gnawed insistently on his heart. Why had she come, why did she have to see this, why did he have to _be_ this?

"I have to leave." His voice was flat as he struggled to keep himself together. Part of him wishing to jump back into the numbness of the ripper, just to stop the pain.

"Stefan..." that one word was so heavy with emotion that it held him in place. Stefan looked into her eyes and his resolve crumbled at the silent plea he saw there, it was a look he was sure he would never be able to deny. Stefan's humanity jumped into action, grasping hold of the reins and pulling the monster to heel, forcing the ripper to submit. He averted his gaze from hers, his head ducked down in surrender.

"Drink," she encouraged, stepping closer and nudging at the bottle in his hands, "it will help. I told you once, you could come to me whenever you want and I wouldn't let you lose control." Caroline reached out for his hand and held it tightly as though scared he would still run. "Let me help you." She pleaded.

Somehow Damon and Elena's reaction hadn't surprised him, as though somewhere deep down a part of him expected it, a part of him remembered the reaction he had always gotten when this dark side of him raised its ugly head.

Stefan stared at her as she calmly went about cleaning up the blood off of both him and the human. All urges to feed, or to run, or to shut down faded; dulled by his confusion and appreciation of Caroline's reaction to his monster side.

How did he come to have Caroline in his life, how had he got that lucky? He had no idea but he was unbelievably thankful for whatever sent her to him. Then a thought occurred to him, as much as it was a new experience for him, she had obviously gone through this with him before, she wasn't surprised or disgusted. But had he always realised how lucky he was to have that? Had he always felt this grateful for her?

"Caroline…" He needed her to know how grateful he was how much he appreciated her, _needed_ her, but the words got stuck in his throat. "I-I don't know-I can't, I…Thank you Caroline." He saw her beautiful eyes widen slightly in surprise but she recovered quickly and then they were sparkling with a brilliant smile.

"Of course. What are friends for, right?" he had internally flinched at that look of surprise; clearly he had been too wrapped up in Elena before to notice the angel right in front of him. But this was a new start, this amnesia - as inconvenient as it was - was also giving him a fresh perspective on things and he sure as hell wasn't going to let that go to waste.

"Damon and Elena were furious and disgusted with me how can you not be you're so sweet and good?" Caroline's eyebrow quirked up as she shot him a doubtful look, lips curving into a cheeky grin that twisted something in his stomach.

"Sweet and good?" she repeated, "Yeah maybe to _you_," She laughed and Stefan struggled to suppress a grin of irrational male pride as she pointed a finger at him, "but you just can't remember all my flaws. Trust me I can be as mean and bitchy as the next girl. I'm a vampire too remember. We're all monsters really."

"So how are you so good at control?" it came out sounding a little bit more bitter than he had meant but thankfully she laughed it off with one of those grins that he felt all the way to his stomach.

"I had an amazing teacher." He didn't like it, who was this other, _older _vampire. Was he still around? Oh God was it Damon? There definitely had to have been some kind of history there if their tense meeting was anything to go by. But before he could start to brood on any jealous thoughts Caroline raised one eyebrow and grinned, giving him a pointed look. It took a few seconds then his own eyebrows shot up. "You mean me?"

"Of course!" she exclaimed.

"But I- that's- _how_?" she giggled at his stunned expression, reaching out to snatch the forgotten tequila bottle from his hand. She raised it in a salute to him.

"Best. Teacher. Ever." then tipped the bottle to her lips taking a long drink. Stefan couldn't help but swell with pride.

Caroline patched up the human and compelled him to forget, then snuck him back out to the party to be found by some other students who would assume that he had too much to drink, like many of the rest of them. When she returned Stefan had sat down against the back wall, out of view from any possible snooping humans. Caroline dropped down beside him, her arm brushing against his and even that slightest contact comforted him.

"Ok so tell me Damon's version of your life story so far and I'll tell you what he has left out or edited for his own agenda." She quipped, tugging the bottle out of his hands again as she settled back against the stone wall.

Stefan hesitated. There were so many things he wanted to know. And he wanted to ask _her_ because he knew she would be honest no matter what. But he didn't want to ruin things, he didn't want to make her angry or make her see how monstrous he truly was and scare her away.

"You should know something," Stefan sighed. "I found some things out earlier and I – well I didn't take them very well."

"You lost control?" she asked and he nodded his head unable to meet her eyes.

"It's ok Stefan it happens to all of us and considering what you're dealing with I'm kind of surprised you haven't massacred the entire town yet." His head whipped round to face her, eyes wide with horror. Caroline cringed, "I'm sorry that was a joke. A really bad joke. I'm sorry." She felt Stefan's body sag in relief so she continued. "So what sent you off the wagon?"

"Elena." He answered his voice cold and detached. Caroline's eyes widened at his tone expecting more emotion when it came to Elena.

"Oh. Ok straight into the heavy stuff. We're going to need more alcohol." She said holding up the bottle to examine its dwindling contents. "Damon didn't give you a heads up on all things doppelganger?" she asked softly, her eyes scanning his face to make sure she caught any reaction.

"No." Stefan said looking at her expectantly.

"Shit. We definitely need more alcohol."

_**Always love to hear from you guys: thoughts, opinions, advice?**_


	5. Chapter 5

**_I have been trying to reply to your reviews when you ask questions but I've been so busy recently that I haven't gotten to everyone, sorry about that. But let it be known that I appreciate each and every single reviewer._**

**_A few of you have mentioned that you like that it's written in Stefan's P.O.V., I've been thinking about maybe switching to Caroline's P.O.V. for a chapter, what do you guys think? I don't want to change it if you all like it this way._**

Their peals of laughter bounced off the stone walls and echoed back to them as Stefan and Caroline finally found a release for all the tension and emotion of the day and let the refreshing waves of their gleeful laughter wash over them.

Somehow, with the help of copious amounts of alcohol and the comfort of friendship, the tale of the Salvatore brothers and their fate of forever loving the Petrova doppelgangers had become the centre piece of the pairs evening hilarity. Of Course Caroline's version of events had been peppered with her very colourful opinions of Katherine and - what she considered to be – the blind stupidity of the brothers, which Stefan had found most amusing.

Stefan had been rather incredulous at the revelation that he had practically fallen in love with Elena on sight and _hadn't_ realised that it must have been an unhealthy transference of his emotions for the manipulative bitch that was his first love, and tried to avoided it at all cost. Stefan clutched at the ache forming in his stomach as he gasped for air through his reseeding chuckles.

"I needed that." He gasped out between heavy breaths, turning to Caroline with a wide grin.

"Me too." She sighed with a grin of her own.

Stefan couldn't remember which part of his entirely laughable life story had thrown them into this bought of hysterics. Maybe something to do with his 'bunny diet'? Oh that was it, Caroline's _'traumatic experience of eating thumper'_. One last chuckle escaped him as he pictured her face as she told him about how he had taught and guided her. One thing was for sure, memories or not, he was _never_ going back to that lifestyle. It was a liability, an accident waiting to happen, and he wouldn't be that again, he wouldn't be weak again. Nevertheless Stefan was entirely sure that drunk and with Caroline was the best possible way he could have learned about his miserable past. Somehow she had managed to save him from what could have been an inevitable tumble into depression or worse a numb and emotionless escape into ripperdom.

Caroline went to drink another swig of what was it now…tequila…or maybe vodka…only to realise the bottle was empty.

"We need more." She said with a frown of disappointment as she tipped the bottle upside down and shook it as though she could make more come out if she forced it.

"I'll get it." Stefan offered brightly

"No you don't have to." She giggled as he stumbled to his feet. Caroline half heartedly reached a hand out as though to steady him even although she was too far away to touch him and didn't seem to want to move any further from where she was comfortably slouched against the wall.

"No I insist" said Stefan, "I'm from the 1800s I should be a gentleman." Caroline giggled as he bowed, swaying slightly as the world titled and spun around him.

"Okay Mister Salvatore" she shrugged. If she were sober she would have worried about him going alone with low inhibitions from alcohol and the possibility for ripper urges slipping through, but the thought never entered her mind.

"Am I a gentleman?" Stefan asked curiously as he straightened up. Caroline's face scrunched as she thought long and hard.

"Sure." She finally answered with a nod of her head, "you're really sweet and kind and caring" her eyes took on a dreamy haze as her mind jumped back to memories of him, her head tilting to the side as she gave him a soft and affectionate smile. Stefan scoffed, groaned and scowled at her in irritation.

"I was hoping for some sex appeal, you know, like a Mr Darcy kind of gentleman that's attractive, not 'Aw isn't he so cute', pat me on the cheek stuff." As much as he was trying to be stern a smile slipped back across his face at the shout of delighted laughter that came from Caroline at his complaint. But with a gasp she stopped suddenly and shot him an angry glare throwing her hands up in frustration.

"How can you know who Mr Darcy is and not remember who I am?" she wined at him, her lips puckering into an annoyed pout. It was so damn cute Stefan had the urge to kiss those pouting lips until she couldn't remember why she was annoyed with him anymore. He snapped himself out of thoughts like that before he could act on them and backed slowly towards the door.

"I'm going to get you something to drink." He turned to leave then paused in the doorway, glancing back at her with the beginnings of a smirk he asked her, "What's your name again?" he ducked as the empty bottle came hurtling towards his head. Caroline could hear the sound of his chuckles fading as he headed into the woods in search of a camp of students with a poorly guarded stash of alcohol.

"Hey Bon-bon…" Stefan froze in his tracks at the sound of Caroline's voice. Who was she talking to? "Sooo I'm drunk dialling, _I know_, we made a rule about that after that one night …but whatever I just want to let you know that I _miss_ you." Stefan relaxed when he realised she must be on her phone, but he didn't continue in, there was something so soft and vulnerable in her voice that held him there, listening intently. "I know you're probably way to busy having fun but give me a call when you get a chance…or even just a text, just let me know how you are. You know me, I worry." This made him smile softly, she was so sweet, "So call me…I know you're off having an amazing time and everything but come back to me soon ok? Love you Bonnie."

_ Bonnie._ He'd heard that name before. Wasn't that the person Elena was complaining about not being here to help her? Stefan shook his head in disbelieve at the two different ways he had heard of Bonnie's absence: Caroline leaving a drunk, concerned, loving voicemail and Elena bitching about needing help. How could such different people friends?

Stefan made his way back inside then. He caught a quick glimpse of a sad Caroline, huddled at the back of the crypt silently lost in her thoughts. But then she heard his boots on the stone floor and straightened up and her face brightened as she looked up at him.

"For you m'lady." Stefan smirked holding out two bottles for her inspection. She eyed them both before taking one from him.

"Thank you good sir." She laughed catching his wrist and pulling him down to sit next to her. Stefan inched himself closer to her, wanting to offer her some kind of comfort after what he overheard. He was surprised but pleased when she snuggled close to him, leaning into his side and resting her head on his shoulder, he adjusts his position, lifting his arm around her shoulders to allow her to more comfortably lean into him. Caroline smiled up in thanks, with that smile that made him feel all warm and happy and he couldn't resist pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

It wasn't long before they both began to feel drowsy from the alcohol, their relaxed positions and the comfortable silence that they had sunk into lulling them both towards sleep. Stefan quickly noticed that for Caroline getting sleepy also meant getting grumpy.

"My butt hurts." Caroline moaned after several minutes of squirming next to him. "And it's cold." She added. "There's a bad smell too." She continued after a few minutes, her nose scrunched up in distaste. Stefan laughed at her expression, "Why are we here anyway? It's so dark and dreary and depressing." She complained. Stefan shrugged and said,

"After my day it seemed kind of appropriate." He watched the frown instantly clear from her face and her eyes met his with sympathy and understanding. While he appreciated it he was passed his dark mood from earlier and had had a great evening spent with her so he quickly changed the tone of the conversation. "But you're right," he continued with a grin, "This is no place for a gentleman to take a lady." When she laughed it tightened something in his stomach.

"I need to go home." Caroline sighed dejectedly as she stifled a yawn. Stefan was instantly disappointed but hearing her disappointment helped soften the blow of their night coming to an end. "I promised my Mom I would stay home tonight instead of heading back to college." She explained. "Are you going to go back to the boarding house or do you want to crash on my couch?" she asked and his heart thumped a little harder at her inviting him into her home so casually, like he'd stayed with her a million times before. It was such a tempting offer that he almost accepted, but the rational part of his mind moaned until he refused it.

"Actually I think I'm going to stay here." He said

"Really?" she asked in disbelieve.

"Yeah I want to get my head straight before I see Damon and Elena again." Caroline nodded in understanding and he was relieved that she seemed to know not to push him or ask for an explanation.

"Ok. I'll come and see you in the morning?" she asked like he might not want to see her and Stefan had to hide his amusement.

"Ok." He answered with a smile, "Come on I'll walk you home."

"You don't have to do that." She objected as she got to her feet and lazily stretched out her stiff muscles and joints.

"I want to." He said, trying not to let his eyes roam over her figure as she stretched and arched so appealingly.

"What a gentleman." She said with a teasing smile. Stefan snorted. His thoughts about her were becoming less and less gentlemanly the more time he spent with her.

"A gentleman ripper?" he teased her back.

"Hey that's my best friend you're talking about." She chastised him with a stern look. "Besides you can be a gentleman to the people you care about and a ripper to everyone else, or every human I guess." She told him with a shrug of her shoulder, "Except my mom." She quickly added in a sharp tone, pointing a warning finger at him. Stefan rolled his eyes at her. As if he would ever do that to her.

"Come on you, let's get you home." He said, slinging an arm over her shoulders and leading her out of the crypt.


	6. Chapter 6

_**I tried to upload this a couple times last week but FanFiction didn't seem to want to let me so sorry for the delay. To make it up to you it's an extra long chapter (also because I couldn't decide where was best to cut it to make two smaller chapters).**_

_**As usual thanks to all my reviewers, you are all so sweet, i love hearing from you!**_

Stefan lay still and silent on the flat top of the stone tomb of a long died ancestor. The sun had been slowly creeping its way through the entrance of the Salvatore family crypt, crawling steadily towards him across the stone floor. But Stefan had barely noticed the sun rising as he lay entirely caught up in thoughts of last night.

_When they finally reached the front porch of the Forbes house Stefan shifted his weight nervously from one foot to the other, unsure how to say what he was thinking._

"_Caroline... today was...what I did, to that guy," Stefan cringed at the memory and looked away from the mesmerizing blue of her eyes, rubbing nervously at the back of his neck "...you stopped me and you fixed it and you were there for me." he continued, finally looking back up to meet her eyes, "Thank you."_

"_You're welcome Stefan. I'm just so glad your back." Her words were so genuine and heartfelt that they instantly eased his awkwardness and guilt, relaxing him. "And I know it's going to be difficult with your memory and everything. And you have Damon and Elena but you will always have me too, okay?"_

"_Okay. Good because I think I might need you." He told her honestly. Traces of vulnerability that he hadn't meant to show her slid through his eyes for the briefest second and he knew she had seen it. But Caroline didn't comment, simply stepped up on her toes and wrapped her arms around his much bigger frame. She looped them around his shoulders and pulled tight bringing them flush together. Stefan's arms instinctively circled around her waist as she squeezed him firmly. _

"_I had fun tonight." It was a soft whisper, spoken just bellow his ear, making him shiver._

"_Me too."_

"_I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked as she pulled back from him._

"_I'll be at the crypt, just come and find me."_

"_Night Stefan."_

"_Good night Caroline."_

For hours that night he had slipped in and out of sleep with dreams of blue eyes, tender touches, brilliant smiles and joyous laughter. Now however he was growing tense. The pleasant buzz of the alcohol had long since worn off and it had been too long since he last fed. He could feel it in the gradual tightening of his muscles, as his feelings of peace and contentment began to wane and an itching anxiety started to crawl through his veins. He needed Caroline, he was anxious to see her and his building thirst was making him feel antsy; he needed to be talked down.

* * *

><p>The sun was now fully risen in the sky, Stefan cut through its path of golden light as he paced back and forth. The sun was annoying, it was too bright; and the chirping birds were too loud, they were irritating. His throat was parched, his head was pounding, and his fingers twitched with impatience as he clenched and unclenched his fists.<p>

"Hey how are you feeling?" Stefan stopped pacing. Tension instantly eased from his broad shoulders at the sound of her voice, but it wasn't quite right he noticed, too soft and a little strained. Stefan began to worry; normally her voice was full of energy but today it was flat and drained. Then a horrible thought flashed through his head: maybe she didn't want to see him, maybe she hadn't wanted to come back but felt obligated after making empty drunken promises.

"Better." He answered tightly, his own stress and discomfort putting an audible strain on his voice, "Which for _me_ means I haven't committed homicide since I last saw you." Stefan didn't mean to sound so snappy but the pain of the thirst was grating on his nerves and the thought that she felt duty bound to be there added a further sting. He turned to face her already bracing to pull up his defensive walls and mask of indifference, and slip into that numbness of no emotions but then he saw Caroline's face and his heart squeezed painfully in his chest.

She looked broken and lost and fragile and all thoughts of blood vanished from his mind, chased away by the need to know what was wrong with Caroline and to try and fix it. His mind raced with questions of who did this to her and what _he _could do to _them_ in return.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly, stepping towards her. Her eyes shown with unshed tears and she wrapped her arms tightly around herself as she stepped towards him, further into the crypt.

"My friend Bonnie…our friend Bonnie," her voice quivered and her breath hitched as she fought off tears. "She's dead." Her voice cracked on the last word. Her bottom lip trembled as she blew out a shaky sigh, like it hurt her to breathe. Stefan gentle gripped her elbow and coaxed her over to the bench where he sat her down, and sitting next to her he started rubbing soothing circles on her back. Silent tears began to course down her cheeks, "She's been dead all summer and I didn't even know. I'm such a terrible friend. I've been…I didn't…" she sighed, her breath wavering "…All I have is this _sadness_, and this _anger_, and-"

"And me." Stefan interrupted her, sliding his hand up her back to squeeze her shoulder reassuringly, pulling her closer towards him. "You have me. You were there for me last night it sounds like you're always there for me so let me be there for you, okay?" She nodded, too overwhelmed by her emotions to speak.

Stefan brought both his hands up to cup her face, his thumbs brushing away the tears from her cheeks as he whispered "I'm here." Her eyes fell closed and she gripped onto his arms tightly for a few seconds before tugging them down from her face and out of her way, allowing her to move closer to him and rest her head on his shoulder. Stefan dipped his head down and buried his nose in her silky curls, breathing in her intoxicating scent. His arms wrapped securely around her and for the first time since the sun began to peak above the horizon he felt at peace.

He had known this girl for less than a day, when did he start to care so much; how did she become so important so quickly? Being around Damon and Elena had felt suffocating, had made him want to pull away from relationships and people in general but somewhere in amongst the ease of her company; the openness of her friendship; her radiant smiles and that honest and hypnotic light in her eyes Caroline had burrowed her way into his heart and Stefan wanted to keep her there. If only he could remember if she had always done that to him; if it had been like that the first time they met...

Caroline shifted against him, tilting her head to look up at him from where she rested against his shoulder.

"Would you…" but she seemed to lose her courage as her head tipped back down again ducking under his chin and out of his sight.

"What?" he nudged her gently.

"We're having a small service today to say goodbye, just a few friends." She spoke into his neck, "Would you come with me?" she asked, finally peaking up at him again.

"Of course." Was his immediate reply and he could see the relief and appreciation plain on her face, could see how much it meant to her, but then her frown returned and she looked at him with confusion and uncertainty. "What is it?" He asked softly. Caroline hesitated.

"I'm not sure how I should be with you." She admitted softly.

"What do you mean?" Stefan frowned.

"Well I already know _you_; we were already close, so should I just treat you like I normally would, act like I normally act? But then I think that you don't know _me_ so maybe I should treat you like a different person, a new friend, like we've just met. But then I remember that you didn't really like me when we first met and I'm not sure if that's because I was a total bitch when I was human or because it sort of takes a while to get used to me or something. I'm pretty sure both are true."

Stefan smiled, she was rambling. He didn't care which way she acted because he was pretty sure that either way she was amazing.

"How about we just do what feels right and see how that goes."

"Good because I'm really going to need my best friend today and it is part of the best friend's job to provide unlimited hugs. You can complain about me being too touchy-feely tomorrow, if you have a problem with it we can change the rule tomorrow but for today there will be hugs and hand holding and crying on your shoulder." He chuckled softly.

"Or how about we don't change it tomorrow and I just put up with your touchy-feelyness and you just put up with my pissed-off-amnesianess, like friends should." He was delighted to see a smile curve her lips.

"Deal. I've missed you so much Stefan. I'm so glad you're here."

* * *

><p>They walked slowly through the woods in comfortable silence. As they reached the crest of a small hill their path opened out into a clearing. Once they rounded the dense low hanging foliage of a huge leaning tree a cluster of people came into view a few meters ahead. Stefan instinctively pulled Caroline closer as soon as he spotted the others. He was sure she only allowed it because she was grieving and saw it as an offer of comfort, he may not remember her but he knew that she was strong willed so he would have to keep his protective instincts in check if he didn't want to annoy her.<p>

Stefan was determined to keep away from Damon and Elena as much as possible. He still hadn't sorted out his thoughts or feelings on that mess. So he instantly turned to lead Caroline to the opposite side of the clearing from them. Thankfully she didn't protest and seemed content to let him steer her in the opposite direction from Damon and Elena. As they made their way around the edge of the clearing his eyes flicked to the next closest person, a blond haired man. His jaw automatically clenched as the sweet smell of blood wafted through the air towards him. He was human. Stefan frowned, the human must now they are vampires, _'that's dangerous'_ he thought, but then again didn't Caroline say that Bonnie had been a witch? _'Quite the supernatural town.'_

His attention was brought back to focus by the feel of Caroline pulling out of his arms, as she moved towards the blond, gripping him in a desperate embrace. Matt she called him. Stefan still regarding him critically as the pair clung to one another, but when they parted Matt looked to him with a nod of recognition and a tight smile, the kind of smile of a man who wishes to be friendly but is burdened too heavily by his grief. It was then that Stefan noticed the obvious pain in his eyes, the strain in his face, the black shadows under his eyes and pale skin which hint at a long sleepless night and suspicion turned to sympathy. Matt was suffering, just like Caroline.

* * *

><p>Even with no memories Stefan felt the love and emotion in all that they did and said. It was truly a beautiful thing to witness; friends united by grief. On their own they were each so fragile and frail, beaten into submission by the brute force of their loss. But together they were magnificent; bound by life, love, friendship and memories.<p>

Stefan watched with pain as Caroline and Elena stepped forward to leave mementos in memory of their friend. Their pain was palpable as they stood together, holding each other together, clinging to one another. He had to look away from Caroline's visible suffering suddenly uncertain, perhaps this was too private a moment for him to be witnessing, but as soon as looked away he regretted it because Damon caught his eye and held his gaze with a fiery look. Stefan watched as he stalked towards him, skirting round the edge of the clearing so as not to draw notice from the cluster of childhood friends surrounding the tree stump of memories.

"Well that was a lovely little display back there." Damon spat in barely a whisper when he stopped at Stefan's side. Stefan sighed, edging them a few steps backwards and further away.

"What are you talking about Damon?" he asked in a tired murmur.

"Don't act dumb Stefan. How could you do that to Elena?" Damon seethed.

"Do what?" Stefan asked frustrated.

"You were using Caroline to hurt her." Damon hissed through his teeth. Stefan was stunned.

"I was what?" he questioned, his eyes wide in astonishment.

"Oh please Stefan you were all over Caroline when you two arrived and you completely ignored Elena."

"So from that you assumed that I was _using_ Caroline and that I was doing it to get to _Elena_?" Stefan demanded with an open mouthed incredulous stare. "Damon did you ever think that I was there for Caroline because she's my best friend and I _care_ about her?" Damon visibly tensed at his last words, his anger and aggression momentarily faltering. His eyes darted suspiciously across Stefan's face, scrutinising him with an unreadable expression hardening his own eyes.

"Y-you remember things?" Stefan rolled his eyes in frustration

"No!" he ground out angrily. "But Caroline matters to me," he continued, "And I paid no attention to Elena because she's _your_ girlfriend and I don't remember her? Shouldn't you be happy that instead of continuing whatever sordid little love triangle we had going on I'm leaving you two alone?"

"Are you?" Damon snapped and in that moment Stefan pitied him, "You shouldn't have come today. Elena needs to grieve and you are a distraction."

"Not my problem Damon. Caroline needs to grieve too and if she needs me to be there for her I will." Stefan stepped away from Damon and back towards the others. He paused and looked back at Damon, "Oh and for the record I would never use Caroline."

"What was that all about?" Caroline muttered when he came to stand beside her. Her eyes were red, her cheeks were wet and yet the small crease in her brow he knew was concern for him. Stefan smiled softly down at her.

"Nothing, don't worry about it. Just Damon...Sorry, it was really inappropriate for me to do that here."

"Are you kidding, Bonnie hated Damon, she would really have appreciated someone putting him in his place." His eyes widen slightly in surprise and Caroline gives him a watery smile then tucks herself into his side as the human starts to read a letter aloud to them.

* * *

><p>Leaning heavily against him Caroline sobbed into Stefan's chest, her fists clenched tightly in the lapels of his jacket. A silence settled over them all, each lost in the depths of their own thoughts while everything else faded into insignificance. It seemed to Stefan that in those moments of reverence for Bonnie, the birds didn't sing, the wind didn't blow and the leaves didn't rustle. The woods fell into an eerie calm as though nature itself was respecting their mourning. The only sounds were the occasional sob and strangled breath of sorrow. Then the sharp sound of a snapping twig cut through the air, breaking the moment. A sudden tension arose as everyone become innately aware of another presence. Each vampire stiffened and straightened; their heads whipping towards the direction of the disturbance. Stefan's hand tightened on Caroline's waist as he shifted his body to the left while keeping her tucked into his right side, shielding her from the intruder with his shoulder. A small part of his brain noticed her moving into him, as though trusting him to protect her while she laboured under her despair.<p>

Several long seconds passed, no one moved, no one spoke, everyone starred at the new comer and he starred back with a blank and unwavering expression. He didn't appear threatening but Stefan was suspicious, a trained mask of no emotion was never a good thing. Caroline finally snapped out of her daze.

"Tyler." She whispered, coming to her senses all of a sudden. There was the briefest hesitation before she moved towards him. She had seemed reluctant to leave Stefan's arms, or at least that's what he thought but she made her way over and accepted Tyler's offered embrace.

Jealousy and disappointment, these were the names of the twin pressures pushing on his chest. They made his heart hurt and his lungs fight for each breath that they pulled in. The ripper inside of him fumed, pounding on his ribcage, desperate to be set free from his confinement. But no, Stefan held back pushing down the beginning tingles of hurt and anger with long steadying breaths. He pulled back, resisting against dragging her away, because it wasn't what she would want. He may not trust this Tyler guy but there was a small smile on her lips now, and for the first time since they arrived her eyes were clear of tears. So he waited. He was happy that something had cheered her up and comforted her, even if that something wasn't him.

The abrupt realisation that Caroline obviously had a life outside of him left him feeling stupid. Of course she had other people in her life, other things to focus on besides him and his problems, but he didn't know any of it and that left him feeling hollow and empty. Stefan yearned for his memories; for an understanding of his life, his feelings, and his relationships. The confusion and uncertainty gnawed on his nerves, causing the Ripper to stir in restless discomfort and making him anxious for answers.

He was about to leave, uncertain of how long his resolve would last if he had to see them together, when she came back to thank him for today. The look of calm on her face and the hint of a tiny twinkle of the normal sparkle returning to her eyes told him that he had made the right decision.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" she asked, and something which might have been relief lifted some of the weight from his chest.

"Of course. Any time Caroline."

"Okay. Good." Still she lingered, starting to turn away from him when she faltered in her movements. She paused, hesitant. "Oh and I'll phone you later?...To see how you're doing, okay?" With that she turned and quickly walked away with her head ducked down, and didn't look back.

_**Thanks for reading!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter Seven**_

_**My humblest apologies for this despicable lateness. **_

_**My laptop spluttered, coughed and died…disaster!**_

_**Chapter seven and we are only just leaving episode 5x04. Sorry to people who like fast paced fics because - if you haven't guessed it by now – I'm going with a slow build for this one. So on to my take of episode 5x05 "Monster Ball", the whole episode will be covered in this one chapter then I'll start straying from the show a bit more.**_

She was frowning again, he observed. Why did she always seem to be frowning when she was with _him_? Stefan leaned back against the bar and took another soothing swig of whiskey, watching and waiting for the creases on Caroline's brow to straighten out and her lips to curve upwards. But even when the smile eventually appeared Stefan could tell that her heart wasn't in it.

He couldn't keep his eyes off of her. She was so beautiful; the gloss of her golden her, the curve of her perfect figure, the mesmerising blue of her eyes, her lusciously captivating scent which was tickling his heightened senses from across the room. He couldn't get enough of her. The last few days he had battled his craving for her just as much as he fought against his desire for blood. He had not spent as much time with her as he would have liked, although it was more than he had expected, with the arrival of Tyler back in town. What made things worse was Caroline's sudden dampened mood and her increasingly crestfallen spirits. Tyler was making her unhappy and it was killing him to watch, but he was reluctant to interfere in case it lost him the precious little time he had with her each day.

He had been watching from a distance for almost an hour, downing as much liquor as he could, when he finally had to give in and go to her. The frown was creasing her brow again and the sadness shinning in her eyes was like a siren screaming out to him, pulling him to her side. Despite the pleasing buzz of the whiskey (which Caroline was right, helped to calm the urges and dull the cravings somewhat) the monster inside of him was stirring awake, roused by a protective - almost possessive - instinct, and goaded by the deception and avoidance he could sense wafting from Tyler in waves.

"Hey," he smiled warmly at her as he approached and offered her his hand, "dance with me. I'm buzzed and I'm on the verge of having a good time." His tone was teasing but it wasn't a question, if he didn't get her away from that arrogant pain in the ass the ripper would soon be ripping his head off.

She placed her hand in his instantly and without a backwards glance let him led her out onto the dance floor. Contentment settled over him as soon as they were alone, one of his hands holding one of Caroline's and the other held firmly to her waist.

"You okay?" Stefan asked his voice heavy with concern.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" but there was an edge to her voice and she knew she wasn't convincing either of them.

"Caroline-" he started to say but she cut him off, not meeting his eyes.

"Can we please not talk about this just now Stefan? Please?"

She was unsure and uncomfortable so she was changing the subject, exactly like she had done every time he had tried to get her to open up to him about it over the last few days. Stefan hated that Tyler had made her so unhappy and insecure and vowed to fix that as soon as Tyler was out of the picture. Which would hopefully be soon.

* * *

><p>Rage and adrenaline collided in a dangerous cocktail that made his blood hum with an irrepressible energy. Snapping Damon's neck had been nowhere near as satisfying as he needed for it to quell the torrent of fury that was ablaze inside him. But the quick fix of violence and revenge had been enough to appease the predator inside of him long enough to cling to rational thought. He had done the right thing, he had warned Tessa about Silas' deception, but he didn't wait around to watch the fall out. He fled quickly, unwilling to have anything to do with Silas and his plans, and eager to find Caroline. Damon and Elena had clearly had some sort of a plan tonight and if killing him over and over again was what his own brother was willing to do to him what might they be willing to do to Caroline? With a pained growl he flexed his muscles, squeezing tightly in an attempt to slow the furore and grasp at the last straws of his focus. He had to stay in control, had to contain the anger long enough to make sure Caroline was okay. Then…<p>

Stefan's steps faltered as, halfway down the hall, he saw her door lying open. His wrath stalled in its tracks at the swift and sharp appearance of anxiety.

"Caroline?" he called out, bracing himself to attack if necessary as he reached the threshold. His eyes landed on her the second he rounded the door frame. There she was, sat on her bed, whole and unharmed and Stefan immediately sagged in relief. But something was definitely wrong. Although she didn't seem to be physically harmed she was sitting stock still and silent on the edge of her bed, staring off at some point beyond the door, her eyes glazed as though seeing something that he couldn't.

"Caroline." Stefan spoke softly not wanting to startle her but she jumped anyway, her eyes snapping to him. She blinked repeatedly, eyes filling with tears. She looked over his shoulder again, pointing at the still ajar door.

"Tyler," she croaked out with a shrug and then the tears started to spill over and her shoulders start to shake.

* * *

><p>"I never liked him." Stefan stated. He was leaning back against her headboard, propped up by pillows, with a dejected Caroline lying against his chest. Her tears had dried up fairly quickly but she was still curled against him. She seemed hollow, like something was broken inside of her and he couldn't stand the silence any longer because it wasn't like her; he knew that even after only knowing her for a few days and it was tearing at his heart.<p>

"You have no memories, how would you know that?" she mumbled into his neck.

"Ok I don't _know_ him. But that doesn't mean I can't dislike him for hurting you. I _do_ know that you can do one hundred times better than some stupid hybrid, who was too busy with wolves and grudges to realise how amazing you are." Her body went rigid at the end like he had surprised her and she twisted herself out of her little cocoon in his t-shirt and looked up at him with a tiny frown, her eyes clouded by doubt.

"Thanks." She said in a small and timid voice as though she was unsure if she believed him. But a smile forced its way out eventually, it was small but sincere, and her words were full of warmth when she said, "You know you're kind of amazing too." He smiled fondly down at her, then after a pause he frowned and asked,

"Just kind of?" and it worked, her smile stretched, her eyes sparkled and a burst of laughter jumped out of her chest.

The laughter snapped her out of her reverie but it died in her throat on a gasp of recognition as reality came rushing back.

"Wait, why did you come here?" She shot up straight, pulling back from him to better examine him, her eyes frantically searching him, "Why were you looking for me? Is something wrong? Are you ok?" concern furrowed her eyebrows and shone plainly in her eyes. She was worried about how he was coping he realised, and the thought made a pleasant warmth balloon in his chest.

"Relax Caroline everything's fine now." He reassured her reaching out to rub her back soothingly, already missing the heat of her body resting against his. "Something happened earlier and I just wanted to make sure you were ok." He had meant to reassure her but her worry only seemed to increase at his answer.

"What happened?" she asked.

"It doesn't matter just now, I'll tell you later."

"Stefan _tell_ me!" he couldn't deny her, not with the hint of panic in her voice. He would do anything he could to calm and comfort her. He sighed.

"Silas was here tonight." Caroline gasped and immediately tensed. Stefan waited for her to pull away from him in fear and uncertainty but her grip on him only tightened.

"What happened?" She repeated.

"Well my loving brother teamed up with him. Apparently he wants to help Silas. And the way he did that tonight was by killing me over and over again for a couple hours." The previously conquered anger rose up again, heating his words.

"Oh my god!" Caroline's squeak of horror kept him grounded in rationality, stopping the rage from spilling over. "What the hell was he thinking? What was Silas doing? Where are they now? Is it over, how did you get away from Damon?" Her words were high and shrill and so fast that her questions seemed to roll together in one, long, frightened breath.

"Woe, woe Caroline slow down its ok everything's ok now." Stefan soothed, running his fingers across her arm. "I mean, I don't really know what's going on or what's going to happen in the long run but Silas was just after information from Tessa and I dealt with Damon." Again Stefan meant his words to be comforting and reassuring but he felt her shiver against him and noticed the alarm and apprehension in her eyes, but he also glimpsed distinct sparks of fear hiding behind the uneasiness.

His thoughts jumped suddenly, and he was reminded of her uncharacteristic coldness to Damon at the grill, the day he first met her. Then he remembered Damon's strange hostility at the memorial. His mind raced, thoughts and explanations that he didn't even want to consider danced around in his head, each one worse than the last. He ground his teeth in frustration. Remembering nothing prior to four days ago left him at a huge disadvantage. He had to ask. He didn't need to know the 'why' - not just now - that could be a story for another day, when the ripper wasn't sitting so near to the surface. But he had to know.

"Caroline, are you…" he hesitated, not wanting to sound accusing (and still feeling intimidated himself by the mystery of what he should already know and didn't), "are you scared of Damon?"

She stilled completely, frozen in place by his question. Even her breath halted in her chest as she sat rigid and staring, eyes wide and gaze averted.

"... Are you?" he prompted.  
>"Yeah. So?" she snapped jumping to her feet, her voice shrill and defensive. She folded her arms tightly over her chest as she rushed out an excuse. "He's like 150 years older than me which means he's 150 years <em>stronger<em> than me." That thought sent a chill through Stefan.  
>"Are you scared of <em>me<em>?" he asked softly trying to be as gentle and un-intimidating as possible. After all, her logic would apply to him too - if in fact that was the only reason for her fear.

"No." she still sounded defensive but the sharp bite had wilted into an uncharacteristic shyness.

"What about when I'm-when I'm the ripper?" he tried to hide the tense strain he felt tightening up his muscles and keep it from seeping into his voice.

"I've never real met ripper you." Caroline shrugged toeing at the floorboards. "But I guess it scares me a little, yeah. You once told me I never have to pretend with you, but ripper Stefan can be really mean so I would be scared that I couldn't _trust_ you." The cold tinge of fear began to recede from his skin with her explanation. That was fine. He could deal with her harbouring that sort of rational fear of him. It was smart for her not to be too intimate with his ripper side.

"Have I," he paused swallowing hard and trying again, "have I ever been mean to you when I turn it off?"

"No." she shook her head.

"Good. I would hate that." His words were full of relief and for the first time since he asked her about Damon, Caroline looked up at him, her blue eyes connecting with his green owns. Time stood still in that moment. Caroline's face so open and unguarded. With a lurch in his stomach Stefan felt himself falling into the depth of her beautiful blue eyes. Energy began buzzing between them as the air pressed close around them, pleasant and exciting. Her eyes darted briefly from his down to his lips and back up again. Stefan heard her breath hitch when he wetted his lips with his tongue. He leaned closer. A trembling puff of breath left her parted lips and tickled across his chin.

"Tequila!" Stefan was startled by her sudden exclamation. He dazedly watched her jump a nervous step back from him. He drew in a calming breath and cursed himself as he saw the pulse of panic on her face before she quickly turned away.

"Break-ups and neck-snappings require tequila." She continued in a breathless voice that rang a little too high to be normal. "And I happen to have an emergency stash in my closet. I'll go get it." Stefan sighed when she showed him an exaggerated grin before darting away.

* * *

><p>"Worthless hybrid ex-boyfriend...homicidal brother...2000 year old crazy-witch scorned lover... Silas!" Caroline slowly slurred through the list, holding up fingers to count each one as she went. "This town totally sucks!" she exclaimed.<p>

"Mm-hmm." Stefan nodded with a chuckle.

"Have you thought about just leaving?" she asked in an almost whisper as though it were some kind of secret. "You know, just make a clean break with the whole no-memories thing and start a fresh somewhere else. Somewhere with less supernatural problems..." she mused dreamily and then added as an afterthought "and maybe more nightlife?" Stefan laughed and nodded again.

"Yeah sure. I've thought about it." He said.

"You have?" Caroline stared at him wide eyed, "And...?"

"And I couldn't leave the one person I have in the world." Stefan shrugged and smiled at her.

"Really? You wouldn't go without _me_?"

"Absolutely. Why, you want to go?" he teased, a tiny part of him secretly hoping for her to agree.

"No!" her answer was so firm and definitive that he couldn't help but feel rejected by it.

"But you just listed all the reasons why this town 'totally sucks'." He grumbled, the alcohol allowing his dejectedness to show.

"Yeah but that would be running away. We don't run from our problems we aren't those types of people. So we'll just have to take care of everything first: with Tessa; and Silas; and your memories. We can _fix _things, and then we'll have no problems and be free to have a fresh starts. Then it won't be running away, you see?"

His mood picked up instantly. It didn't sound like a rejection anymore, more like…a plan.

"To fixing things!" he cheered, raising his glass with a grin and feeling a familiar flutter in his stomach when she giggled, her eyes sparkling with happiness as she reached for her own glass and copied him. "Oh to have no problems…" he sighed dreamily. Caroline scoffed, her eyes narrowing in a glare.

"What are you talking about Salvatore? You have no _memories_ therefore you have no _problems_. Well…other than having no memories of course." She frowned in thought, having just confused herself. Shaking herself from her confusing thoughts she continued. "The point is you don't remember your problems, lucky bastard." She grumbled into her glass.

"Oh you'd be surprised, I have my fair share of amnesia related problems, you know." Stefan said.

"Oh yeah, like what?" she challenged.

"Like…I can't remember when the trash goes out." His voice held a certain hint of triumph, as though he was pleased at having come up with something. Her howl of laughter was instant and infectious. Stefan laughed at the blond as she keeled over onto her side, clutching at her ribs and gasping for air.

"I'm serious. I have all this trash and it's just piling up and I can't remember when the bins go out so I can get rid of it all."

Her laughter turned to unrestrained shrieks of hilarity that bounced off the walls and echoed back at them. Seeing her like that took away Stefan's disappointment at their almost moment that had shattered before it could really begin; his rage at his brother's actions; and pushed from his mind the swirl of emotions surrounding the revelation that Caroline was scared of Damon. All that mattered in that moment was that they were there together and they were happy.

* * *

><p>The incessant ringing of Stefan's phone interrupted them several hours later. With a groan Stefan rolled on his side and snatched up his phone. The smile fell from his face when he glanced at the screen.<p>

"What is it Damon? Worried I might go on a ripper binge because my big brother spent the evening killing me for the guy that locked me in a safe and threw me in a quarry?" Caroline inhaled sharply a shiver crawling up her spin at the suppressed anger jagging through Stefan's words. They had been having such a nice time (escaping into several bottles of tequila) that she had almost forgot about his earlier ordeals with Damon and Silas.

"Maybe you should have thought about me going on a killing spree _before_ you concocted that little plan. Actions have consequences Damon." The anger seemed to drain away in his last sentence, replaced instead by a chilling calmness that was empty and emotionless.

Stefan laughed at whatever Damon just said but he didn't sound amused. The sound was cold and cruel and it made Caroline stiffen as she realised that it was the ripper that was on the phone right now. If _she_ had a ripper alter-ego she would use it on Damon all the time, Caroline thought. Not realising that Stefan's reason for unleashing his monster was not actually what Damon had done to him but what Caroline admitted about being scared. Stefan wanted to show her that Damon was no threat to her, not while he was there to protect her.

"Relax Damon. Don't worry I'm not going to go on a ripper binge. I'm with Caroline." He looked over at her then and Caroline watched an affectionate warmth soften his features and emotion colour his eyes. He transformed before her eyes from the snarky ripper to her caring best friend. "…because she's the only person that I actually like and trust."

_**It was a bit rushed, and I'm not totally happy with it so please point out any mistakes or things you feel could have been done better.**_


	8. Chapter 8

Cosy. Comfortable. Content…

Warm. Relaxed. Happy…

These were the first tendrils of thought to slip through Caroline's consciousness and float around in her head as she started to wake up. She hovered there for a while, surrounded by these feelings, basking in them, holding on to the last residues of sleep which still smothered any other thoughts like a warm blanket. Then, as though the blanket had been ripped off of her exposing her skin to the unforgiving cold of the morning, awareness slammed into her like a hard slap to the face. Caroline sprang up in her bed. Guilt and self-loathing making her tear herself out of the haven of Stefan's embrace and pulling her back to the painful reality they lived in. A reality in which she shouldn't be sleeping next to Stefan, no matter how innocent it had been; shouldn't wake up in his embrace, no matter how comfortable it was; shouldn't have enjoyed it so much. She would never be more than Stefan's best friend. These thoughts and feelings washed over her in a fraction of a second and before she could even inhale a gasp at the ice-cold chill they struck through her heart she felt Stefan sit up abruptly seconds after her, his body mimicking hers exactly and his arms banding round her again. Caroline drew in a sharp breath. She was overwhelmed. The onslaught of emotions - which had started out as such a pleasant contentedness only to plummet to a deep and dark guilt – so soon after waking. Her mind felt swollen and numb as she was startled by Stefan's unexpected movement. Caroline felt like she was in shock, but from her chilling and upsetting emotions, or from Stefan's abrupt movements, or from suddenly finding herself back in Stefan's arms and the instant relief it provided...she wasn't sure. She froze in place, holding her breath as every muscle in her body tensed.

"Caroline?" he asked tentatively.

"You scared me." she breathed out.

"Sorry." Stefan mumbled sleepily. The moist air of his breath fanned over her shoulder making her shiver, then her stomach leapt as she felt the contact of flesh as he pressed his lips to her bare shoulder in a soft kiss. Her insides squeezed painfully. "I Thought you were having another nightmare." He mumbled against her skin, his breath making goose bumps spread across her shoulder. Then he pulled away: his lips leaving her and taking their heat with them, then his body pulled away too, the space between them increasing again as he lay back down against the pillows. Caroline was so stunned at his intimate gesture she didn't even think to ask _what other nightmare? __All she could think or feel was his lips brushing hot against her skin, and the warmth of his chest solid against her back and they were both gone now. But that was what she wanted, that was why she had jumped up so suddenly – for space, to separate them. So why did she feel so lost now?_ Because that type of intimacy wasn't part of their relationship: it wasn't who she was to him and she knew that. She wasn't Elena, or even Katherine. She wasn't a doppelganger and who the hell could mess with that epic, cosmic universe kind of love? She had told herself a long time ago that she would never be that to Stefan, that he could never be that for her.

With a few mumbled words Caroline headed quickly for the bathroom, managing to make her exit without properly looking him in the face. Her stomach churned and her head ached – the after effects of her guilt and embarrassment rather than a hangover from the tequila. Caroline distractedly turned on the shower and pulled her shampoo and a clean towel from the cupboard, cringing at the memory of her embarrassing drunken flirting the night before: she had made a fool of herself. Her only saving grace was that Stefan had been just as drunk as her, and she could always blame any inappropriate behaviour on her sudden break up with Tyler. And yet it seemed Stefan was affecting her much more than Tyler these last few days, she thought.

It had been amazing spending time with him since the amnesia. Without his memories Stefan wasn't preoccupied by Elena and Damon and heartbreak and betrayal, at least not to the same extent, he knew about it but it didn't seem to drown him the same way that it had been before. God what an awful friend she was for enjoying her time with amnesia him. It put everything else on hold so that there was no past to brood over and no future to worry about, just the present moment to savour, where it was just them and alcohol and conversations and fun. No supernatural drama. Just two teenagers hanging out. And that was the problem. That was not good, because without the reminders of the outside world, of Damon and Elena, and all the craziness surrounding their lives Caroline far too easily got lost in their own little universe and that universe of smiles and laughter and dancing and cuddles raised her deeply repressed crush to the surface.

Facing these dizzying thoughts that were swirling around in her mind Caroline dropped her forehead forward, smacking it onto the cold tiles of the shower stall and swore under her breath as she honestly admitted to herself: Caroline Forbes had feelings for Stefan Salvatore. And it was getting harder to hide it.

Stefan yawned and stretched then reached out to the nightstand for his phone. He didn't really care about anyone or anything outside of the dorm room – the only other people he knew were Damon and Elena and he was still furious enough about having his neck repeatedly snapped at the party last night that he didn't want to have to see them for days – but it was a habit that he seemed to have retained even without his memories, to regularly check his cell for messages. He frowned down at his phone suspiciously as he opened up a message from Elena sent late last night:

_Silas took the cure. He's mortal now. Be safe. E_

Stefan was really starting to dislike Elena and more importantly distrust her. The message itself was simple enough but it wasn't the content that bothered him, it was the intent behind it. It was everything that the text told him without saying it. Why was Elena texting him, why wouldn't Damon do it? And why give him warnings today when yesterday they had a plan that involved snapping his neck to help Silas. On a hunch Stefan reached across the bed and checked Caroline's phone: no messages. Was no one keeping Caroline in the loop? How was she meant to stay safe and out of trouble? He remembered telling Damon that he was here with Caroline so they only needed to contact one of them, but why would Elena text him before Caroline. It wasn't right. It was wrong and manipulative.

"What's wrong?" her soft voice snapped him out of his brooding and he turned to see her watching him with a look of concern. He purposefully tried to relax and banish his frown so as not to worry her.

"I got a text from Elena." He told her, noting the brief flash of something that shot across her features at the mention of the brunet. He made a mental note to look out for that in the future, perhaps Caroline had a similar opinion of Elena as he did. "Silas got the cure, so he's mortal now." He explained. Whatever emotion had flickered through Caroline was instantly drowned by waves of concern and fear which visibly washed over her face.

"So what are we going to do?" she asked him expectantly. He watched her closely trying to gauge her reaction and realised that she didn't so much expect him to have the right answer, more she was just willing to go along with whatever had already been decided, whatever they were being told. Stefan didn't like that. He didn't remember enough to be able to make a competent decision for himself but he knew he wasn't going to trust what Damon and Elena thought. Stefan made a quick decision then that his priorities were getting his memories back and Caroline. He knew that she was smart enough to make decisions for herself so until he got his memories back what he wanted was whatever Caroline wanted. He would let her decide for the both of them.

"What do you want to do?" her eyes widened in shock. His question completely threw her off.

"Me?" she asked, startled. Stefan just nodded, careful to keep his expression neutral as a spark of anger flared in him. _Did no one ever ask her what she wanted to do; or what she thought of the numerous situations that seemed to constantly face them?_

"I'm still trying to get my head around what exactly is going on around here and how we're caught up in it." He said. "I'm still figuring out what would be in my best interests. All I know is I don't trust Damon and I know you don't either. My only real priority is keeping you and I safe. I want to be as uninvolved in this mess as possible. And I want to get my memories back."

He was careful not to make a decision or give an opinion, he just wanted to coax her into making her own decision. It seemed to work: her expression grew thoughtful. Now that he was focusing her thoughts towards how Silas affected them specifically Caroline instantly began to considered how she could best help Stefan.

"We need to find out what Silas is planning and if it includes you." She said "So we should go to the boarding house? And ask Elena and Damon what they know?" she asked him instead of telling him, sounding uncertain. "But you just said you don't trust them. And you must still be angry about last night so maybe that's not…" she started to second guess her decision but Stefan cut her off with an encouraging smile and said:

"I'll jump in the shower."

* * *

><p>"Stefan! Caroline!" Elena greeted them enthusiastically.<p>

"I thought you said it was a good day?" Damon snarked from behind her. Elena shot him a warning look.

"So Sila's took the cure? How?" Caroline asked them. As she and Stefan took a seat on the couch facing the couple.

"I fed Katherine to him." Damon told her with a dark smile, menacingly flashing his teeth. Stefan tensed at the predatory behaviour. He didn't expect Damon to attack Caroline, not physically but he clearly meant to intimidate her. The subtly threat had something primal and furious rising up in Stefan, swelling in his chest and quickening his heart with the impulse to challenge Damon and defend Caroline. But a quick glance at Caroline showed that she wasn't paying any attention to Damon. She was gazing to the side, into the fire, lost in thought and Stefan thought she actually looked more sad than scared, which he knew was not Damon's intended reaction. But why would she be sad about Katherine dying? He watched her carefully, desperate for some clue as to what she was thinking and why. Once again he longed for his memories if only for a better understanding of Caroline. Unless he was mixing up his stories or missing some crucial information, the other doppelganger had been a bitch and a menace who had caused nothing but grief and heartache.

"Didn't she kill you?" Stefan leaned in to Caroline and murmured the question close to her ear. He knew Damon and Elena would still hear him over the murmur of their own conversation but he clung to the pretence of privacy; he felt self-conscious over his lack of understanding in that moment and he wanted to talk to Caroline, no one else. Caroline smiled softly up at him. The others often criticised her for her strange capacity for compassion and forgiveness. They had all sneered at the humanity she had shown Tyler when he triggered the curse, Damon especially: they were natural enemies after all. It was the same thing now: Caroline had just as much reason as anyone else to hate Kathrine, but there were certain things she would never wish on another person, no matter who they were. Stefan had always been the most supportive and understating out of her friends. Even now his tone was gentle and confused, as though he weren't questioning her, just trying to understand her obvious sadness.

"Yeah but that doesn't mean I wished her dead." She told him, "Especially not like that." Caroline's hand subconsciously went to her neck, rubbing along the vein there, eyes flickering briefly across the living room to Damon as a grimace shot across her face. It passed quickly, she shook off the sadness and turned her attention to Damon and Elena, watching as they argued quietly about something. Stefan nudged his shoulder into hers to bring her attention back to him and she looked up to see him smiling down at her.

"You're amazing." He whispered. His reward was a dazzling smile that made her blue eyes sparkle in that way that shot a surge of pride into his stomach.

"There's no need to be so dramatic Blondie. Katherine didn't die." Damon drawled.

"She didn't?" Caroline asked, her eyes wide with surprise.

"Unfortunately not." Said Damon "Resilient little thing isn't she. Like a cockroach."

"Ok so what happens now?" Caroline asked looking between Damon and Elena.

"Now we help Silas find the anchor to the other side and destroy it." Damon answered.

"What?" Caroline blurted in shock. "What the hell Damon?" he smiled belittlingly as she gapped at him, stunned. "Ok before we even get to the part about the other side, what do you mean we _help Silas_? Silas is the bad guy." She stated forcefully.

"Again with the drama queen." Damon rolled his eyes at her. "From the beginning Silas' whole 'bad guy plan' was to kill himself and reunite with his dead girlfriend Amara." He scoffed disdainfully. Caroline's eyes narrowed into an angry glare.

"Then there was that time he locked Stefan in a safe and dropped him into a raven, then posed as him all summer. Or the way he sauntered around town reading peoples' minds, intimidating people, terrorising people, killing people. He killed Bonnies dad! And you want to _help_ him? Why the hell would we do that?" Caroline ranted furiously, gaining confidence as her indignation mounted. Stefan watched on quietly. He still didn't have much of an opinion but he was pleased by the way Caroline was heatedly snapping at his over cocky brother. Damon regarded her with a cold and penetrating stare, pausing dramatically before he threw his reason at her like a hard slap.

"To bring Bonnie back." His grin was vicious and his eyes daring as he hissed it out through barred teeth. Air ballooned in her lungs as she inhaled in a startled gasp and froze. Damon regarded her with glee as she stared at him pale and stunned. Stefan watched her closely with growing concern.

"What?" she breathed out in a pained whimper.

"It's all part of my plan to bring Bonnie back to life." Damon smirked arrogantly. He turned to Stefan and said "That's what that whole neck snapping thing was about last night, by the way. You understand right?" Stefan realised that this was quite likely the closest thing to an apology, or an admission of guilt that he was going to get from Damon. And the only reason he was getting even that was because it was a self-congratulatory brag about how brilliant his own plan was. But in that moment Stefan didn't care about what his brother had done the night before, all he was concerned with was the impact Damon's announcement was having on Caroline. She sat shaking beside him.

"What the hell are you talking about Damon?" Stefan growled "Start explaining. Now!" he demanded.

"I contacted Silas yesterday before the party and made a deal: a life for a life. Silas wants to die; we want Bonnie back. For his master plan to work he needs to find and destroy the anchor – the magical object that the other side is bound to. Tessa is protecting the anchor. Tessa's spell linked Silas and you. So: I snap your neck, the link is severed, Silas reads Tessa's mind and gets the location of the anchor. Now all we have to do is get it and destroy it. Then he can die and Bonnie can live. Easy as pie."

"Easy as pie?" Caroline questioned hysterically, the shock melting away to be replaced by a quivering fury "We're half way through some deal you made with the devil that we didn't even know about, we're caught up in the middle of some plan that involves destroying the anchor to the other side." She shrieked out, "What the hell have you dragged us into Damon?" Turning to Elena she continued, "God, Elena, what do you think Bonnie would have to say about us working with Silas? About us messing with magic to do with _the other side_?" she shouted.

"Well we don't know what she'd say do we Blondie. Because she's dead!" Damon snarled venomously. Caroline instantly recoiled, flinching at his words. A glint of satisfaction shone in his eyes as he watched her. Continuing more calmly he told her, "F.Y.I. a had a lovely chat about all this with Little Gilbert and The Witch before I even contacted Silas. Where do you think I got the idea from?"

"Bonnie? She… Oh." Her voice was a broken whisper.

"Some friend you are." Damon sneered.

"Damon don't." Elena chided him.

"So you want to resurrect Bonnie." Stefan interjected, his voice steely. "Is there anything else we should know about? Any other master plans up your sleeve? Anymore enemies that might try to ruin our lives and we can work with them too?"

"Actually there is something else." Elena spoke up hesitantly, "Caroline, I talked to Dr Maxfield at the party last night: he said it's not safe at the school and that we need to leave."

"Not safe? Is he threatening you?" Stefan asked. His voice deadly calm as a familiar hum began to vibrate through his veins. Elena turned her large doe eyes from Caroline to give him a sickeningly sweet smile in what looked like gratitude.

"More like a warning I think. An unfriendly warning. But he knows about us." Elena explained. Stefan's eyes darkened.

"Don't you think you should have warned her as soon as you found out? Or were you too wrapped up in your great plan: snapping my neck for the greater good to resurrect your dead best friend? Maybe if you looked after the friends that are actually alive you wouldn't have to worry so much about making resurrection plans." Stefan growled at Elena.

"Stefan!" Caroline squeaked in shock "It's ok, she only got the warning last night and you were with me last night, I was safe."

Some of the anger burning in his chest began to cool as he relaxed marginally. Caroline thought she had been safe because she was with him. That had something animalistic inside him preening with pride. He was pleased and also a little relieved that she felt safe with him, so he was willing to drop the matter for now. Caroline smiled at him reassuringly as the tension eased out of his body. Elena stared at him alarmed and confused and also a little hurt, while Damon gave him a funny look that Stefan didn't understand but met with a challenging glare. Before anymore could be said the door to the boarding house was flung open causing all four vampires to jump up and spin to face it. Silas stood silhouetted by sunshine in the doorway.

"Good morning friends."

* * *

><p><em>Hello...? Are you guys still out there? I am ashamed at how long I have left this story. I have no excuses, my inspiration just abandoned me. But I was determined to update again before the end of the year, and one of my resolutions for 2016 is to finish 'A Fresh Perspective'! So I hope people can forgive me and that you are still interested in this story.<em>

_Thanks for reading._


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